Frank's Story "I was about the furthest you could be from being a Christian". I was privileged to be raised in a moral home, though were not a religious family by any means. My father, due to some things that happened early in his life, was essentially an atheist. My Japanese mother was not really a believer in anything until her later years when she became a Buddhist. My father decided to let each of us make up own minds about religion. Bible reading was not an encouraged activity. If one felt the need to read the Bible, the understanding was that it was purely for "educational purposes." The only exposure to the Gospel I had as a child was watching a 1960's movie starring Jeffery Hunter as Jesus. I remember feeling sorry for this man named Jesus; his torment and crucifixion by the Roman soldiers left an impression on me. That was as far as it went for me in those days. Expressing any kind of faith or belief in God would've gotten me the title "Jesus Freak," and that didn't interest me. As far back as I can remember, I had a terror of death and dying. This fear branded me a hypochondriac by age 7 or 8. When I was 16, my best friend died of pancreatic cancer, and then when I was 17, my mother died suddenly from a massive stroke. Death and the thought that I would one day die held a profound sense of hopelessness for me from that time. It wouldn't be until many years later when those fears would subside as I learned about God and His Word. I always felt I was a good person, mostly because throughout high school, college and beyond, I was always on the side of the underdog. I was very interested in world peace, human rights, and general good will. I knew that I wasn't perfect, but I certainly didn't consider myself evil. "Evil" characters were people like Hitler and Charles Manson. I never had a problem believing there was a real Hell for evil people. I only hoped that God might see my life and make by death, although unavoidably terrifying, a temporary passageway into His paradise. No matter how good I acted, I never felt certain I could get to heaven, so the hope had was an uneasy one. What I wasn't yet mindful of was how needy I was of salvation. I broke God's laws daily by lying, using God's name to express disgust, disobeying my parents, and shoplifting. I did would be considered criminal, but I hadn't learned yet how to judge myself and my actions by God's standards. When I was 35, my search for truth and meaning in life led me into several years of new age seminar training After spending tens of thousands of dollars and countless hours spent in so-called "transformational" seminars, I was no closer to knowing the truth or the meaning of life. I did, however, become well versed in how people think and how we can delude ourselves with manmade "truths." Years of learning how to think and act "positively" led to years of dutiful church attendance, teaching catechsim, joining a men's ministry, serving in soup kitchens at Christamsi thought I knew how to earn my way to heaven, but I was dogged by uncertainty every step of the way. I even called myself a Christian and a true believer, but I could never give anyone a real reason for why I felt that way, and silently hoped that no one would ever get around to asking me. At age 45, I was given a book called This We Believe, and I read it over and over. I found within its pages hard-to-ask questions and responses to many of the ideas that confused and frustrated me for years. Around the same time, I got a quick lesson on how to discern what is true Christianity. I spent 6 weeks studying the Bible with a business associate who was an elder with the Jehovah's Witnesses. Fortunately, the Holy Spirit helped me discern that this man's teachings didn't conform to the Bible.. I began to study eagerly about God and His Word. For the first time, I learned and understood the 10 Commandments. Then I realized how guilty I was before God and that I needed to trust Him to save me from my sins. During this period of awakening, I was doing some research online when I came across a preacher who was sharing the Gospel and how one could be sure of salvation. Something clicked for me. It was like I had never heard these words before. I had gone through the motions of religious experience before, but this was different. I understood and believed the Gospel for the first time in that day. I realized that trusting in Christ's work on the cross was what I needed to do. At age 46 I got on my knees and prayed to God for the first time to save me from my sins. Since that time, I've known with certainty that I've been saved. Although I am a "work-in-progress," my life is different now. I know the Holy Spirit is working to change me. I have a hunger for reading the Word of God like I never had before. I have a new focus to please God in whatever I'm doing. One of the biggest differences I've never experienced is a new-found freedom from the fear of death that once haunted me. I feel a sense of power and hope for a new life through the faith that I have in my Lord Jesus Christ.